Karmic Recognizance: A Short Poem

I have major trauma and resulting emotional regulation issues around real and perceived rejection. This started at home with my parents, who apparently talk very positively about me to other people, but did not raise me with unconditional regard nor ability to sit with my emotions. To compound the issue,

It's hard to know what to call Him. For awhile I was calling Him Satan because I knew it was His Hebrew title, however just yesterday I discovered he has an actual Hebrew name, Samael. That name is perhaps younger, coming from Kabbalah, and forgive me for thinking