A Short List of Absurd Things That Gave Me Dysphoria

Please read the below with a tone of black humor.

1. My new Lordy fragrance oil from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab didn't smell quite right on me because my body was pre-testosterone. I did not know you could smell wrong before that
2. I had my hairstylist shave my sides so that my hair was like 3TEETH's but then my to-the-skin shave felt like what my jaw never has
3. A little kid at the grocery store identified me as a man and then their likely liberal, Democrat-voting father said, "No, that's a lady."
4. The first time I very gently put mascara on my upper lip to see how I would look with facial hair—for the record, I looked devastatingly great
5. Going to a trans masc meet up and seeing everyone was further ahead in medical transition than I was
6. Calling the specialty compound pharmacy to order my topical testosterone and the very nice employee called me "ma'am" at the end of the call. The topical is literally for my penis.